If I'm really honest with myself, why am I here?
I'm a wild thing. Tamed and muted by education, anxiety and capitalism. Society, crazy and deep. Destroying our home. I'm a worker bee caught between adventure and duty. Inspired by the brilliance of each flower, snowflake, seed gathering life's elixir. Mystery. Beauty. Grief. Keeping it together. Propolis. One with the hive. Unique. Like everyone. One. Temporary. What longing am I moving towards? Giving my inner child what it needs to be happy. Playing in the forest with friends. Wondering. Creating space for magic. Dazzle. Enchantment. Desperate for connection. I want to feel home wherever I go. This summer when I got to spend some time in Port Angeles on the Olympic Peninsula, I tried to find out more about the creek running close to our rental.
During the research I learnt about a group restoring Ennis creek and then came across this song son Wes wrote for his Mom to acknowledge restoration efforts. I think it's beautiful, the story as well as the song: Lifeline We will spend a lot of dirt time this year and sit.
My current relationship with my sit spot is somewhat torn as I see so many things and feel really connected but the space feels somewhat transient. Change is in the air. It's a City Park and neighbors on all edges interact with the space in different ways. I did have the most impact on the space, restoring it to native plants, removing the intruders. It feels interesting as an intruder myself. But I might call myself 'introduced' and 'non-invasive', as I try to play along with the others in a respectful, harmless way. Am I really? Stealing valuable resources: Light. Water. Air. Space. Smothering over the others. Just like the Himalayan Blackberry? I do use resources. Some are limited. Some raised in value because people like me moved here and made space more rare. Outpricing the locals/natives. I will go now and introduce myself to my little nature patch, I feel to know for a while now, and try to reach out and find my 'Octopus teacher' (Jon Young just suggested his friends Craig Foster's new film). I will try to see everyone and everything with new eyes. I really like the idea how external tracking and relating to a place also activates internal tracking. I will try to pay more attention to that. But this time I will wear shoes as my spider limbo made me be a little less cautious and step in Himalayan blackberry which left an inch long gap on the bottom of my foot. Ouch. Despite the smoke, I needed to go outside and check in with my forest friends. I took off my socks and climbed down the stairs.
First, I visited Hugo, my little buddy. The fern I gave him as a companion didn't seem to have survived the summer heat but Hugo seemed to be doing better. It definitely helps that he doesn't get as many destructive visitors. I had to roll back my little log I used in my sit spot. My sit spot rock was still there. I had to clean up a bit. Lots of trash left from the telecom workers. I went up to the curvy cedar, picked up some trash there and sat a little bit in my sit spot. I heard a lot of city noise and the ferry horn. Air plane. Construction. Cars. But also the hummer and some other birds. I watched a On my way back I noticed all the spider webs and I started to do a limbo dance/crawl so I wouldn't touch all their cobs. There were about 6 back to back and it was quite the challenge and a lot of fun. I didn't enjoy the blackberry canes as much on the ground. Barefoot. I grew up barefoot. I should check in with my Dad how often he is still walking barefoot. I visited my little Madrone babies. My toddler seems to be doing great. Everything around him is brown but he is bright green in his little spot over the marker. Seven of the 10 babies seem to be viable. The Cedars on the other hand are all dried up. :-( There were lots of clumps of moss lying around the south of the house I once learned the crows love to feed their offspring with. When I came back in my socks where not on the porch anymore. I found them on the couch. This morning we had Intros over Zoom with the entire Anake cohort.
Who am I? Why am I here? What longing am I moving towards? I needed a couple attempts to trim my share down to what I wanted to say. It was nice to hear everyone's voice and being able to see their faces. I guess it's the benefit of getting smoked right now. For me it's a lot about spirituality, finding my voice and reconnecting with my inner child while learning and spreading the love of connection. I am still pretty happy about my written introduction in the google group. Written is definitely easier for me to express myself. I moved into Cedar Loft at Linne Doran. I created a little nature table on my book shelf, stuffed with all the Naturalist books, I brought along. My roomies are fun and we will have a great time together.
Found these beauties on our daily evening walk and loved how the light fell on them. I tried to ID them but couldn't find them yet. Back home I did some yard work and then find the flowers in the very back of our yard. So exciting!
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AuthorCurious Bee. Forest Steward. Nature Nerd. Climate Activist Mom. Categories
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February 2024
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