Calm. Unity. Within. Happy. Curious. Excited. Overstimulated. Aware. Appreciative. Some of the words I associate with my nature exercise of sitting in my sitspot taking in all sights, sounds, smells and thoughts. It is hard to describe, if you haven't tried it, but many many people all around the world have this practice. It builds Nature Connection and promotes healing. Tugged in between my bees, the big and the little maples.
Alte Schachtel! translates into 'old box', German for 'old maid'.This year was very long and entertaining in many ways, not always easy. I think I grew personally and know much more about myself than ever before. I know lots of things I don't like - about me and others. I learnt a lot of things I do like a lot - about me and others.
Besides making friends and community even more a focus over the last months, we really discovered new grounds as a family. Both kids are old enough to really grasp our values and think and question why we do the things we do. It's really fun and rewarding seeing them grow up and forming more and more into their own creations. We really became 'DoGooders' the last couple of months. ;-) Between Marco's Food Bank volunteering, Plant for the Planet, helping with the Unitarians, Marching for Women, Climate, Science, standing up for social justice and equality. I'm really proud of my family. I question the way we live in 2017. So many things feel so wrong. Social isolation. Displaced elders. Greed. Power of corporations. Food chain. Life balance. My Hippie heart wants to stop all this madness and nonsense and become Captain Fantastic. The last 2.5 years we tried to live more up to our values. I won't work for any organization or corporation if I don't believe in it's mission. I want to make the world a better place, not worse. I want to eat less meat (maybe even no), spent more time outside, enjoy nature more intensely, learn more about plants and birds, I want to stand up for myself and my beliefs. I want to help the underdogs and fight for what feels right. I want to be more patient, kind and giving. I want to enjoy, listen and learn. I want to be less judgmental and more open. I want to be thankful for all the great adventures, experiences and memories I got to enjoy in my lifetime. Sarah is looking forward to celebrate her Bunny birthday with her friends.
She likes animals and nature and is happy to receive used things for her birthday, like books, doll accessories, dresses, leggings, plants, or any extra soccer balls, hula hoops, baseball, basketball equipment you might have for the Sports Library we want to open this Spring for Fairmount Park - but her all time favorite gifts are experiences (going to the movies, bowling, picnic, ice cream, PacSci, SAM,...). A homemade craft to hang on her rooms wall is another great gift she would enjoy. No need to buy anything. Our house is filled with toys. Thanks!
Gives me chills every single time. Perfection. Fine Art.
We will celebrate Tim's 11th birthday this Friday 1/6 after school at Camp Long.
The plan is to walk over to Camp Long for games (soccer, frisbee, maybe snow) on the field - with a bonfire afterwards. It might be very cold so wearing warm coats and bringing hats and gloves is recommended. Tim does not need any gifts. He already has plenty of toys and as a Climate Justice Ambassador he appreciates if you don't buy anything new for him. Tim loves experiences (sports games, museum, movies, ice cream...), music, audio books, Garfield and fantasy books, card games, bacon and gummy bears (last two not used :-) or used sports equipment (balls, frisbees, baseball gloves,...) as we want to start a free gear library for Fairmount Park playfield this Spring. Party ends at 5:30PM. Everyone will have to leave the parking lot before 6PM as Camp Long is closing at that time. Tim and Family Very grateful and still excited about our December celebration.
8 and 10 years are great ages to enjoy the Holidays. Last year we travelled to Europe and our vacation/family visit was mixed in with Christmas. It wasn't quiet or cozy as we moved to different locations, while jetlagged, mainly rushing and without the freedom of laying out every day as freely as back home. Just the usual for a family visit. This year we stayed home. Thanksgiving kicked us off with a great potluck at the Unitarian congregration. Then we got to decorate the church sharing lunch together and making new friends. The kids started opening their Adventscalendars in excitement every morning. We also started an Adventscalendar where each day we where challenged to do a good deed. It was a wonderful addition to slow down our daily life. Marco and Tim took a trip to school camp together and Sarah and I had a couple of days to embrace in Mommy-daughter activities. We went thriftshop shopping, to the movies, read and baked together. We started decorating our small plastic tree with colorful lights. We glued together Gingerbread houses that were very hard to keep upwards, but we managed. We baked a variety of cookies my Mom and my Grandma made. I also made chocolate truffles, which turned out great for going with 'cheap' baking chocolate instead of the really good stuff, I usually got in the years before. We hosted a nice Holiday party for the Office Junction with lots of yummy treats and happy guests. I made several trips to Goodwill for gift shopping to stay within our tight budget and also to offer sustainable gifts. The first time Sarah picked a couple of baby outfits for her dollies. The second time I found some puzzles, a game and books. The third time I picked new outfits for the kids and found a great cast iron tea pot for Marco. The perfect gift as had great fun taking a tea ceremony workshop together this summer. Overall I spent way more money as planned, but way less than any previous years, with less regrets to giving in to consumerism and thoughtless giving. The kids had a Holiday choir performance. Marco had a choir performance. We resisted to host another Holiday party and instead went to Seattle Center for dinner, Ice Skating and a Daft Punk Laser Show with friends. The next day we were invited to a Holiday party of friends but that evening Sarah feel sick with a bad cold and wanted to be held and leave, which we did a little earlier then planned. The next party we had to cancel as Sarah was way to sick. Just before Christmas I caught Sarah's cold and a day later Marco got it, too. So we had to keep it low from then on, which was still a challenge with work and all our traditions and Holiday preparation going on. I had a couple of moments where I rather wanted to crawl in bed instead of getting everything ready, but we made it for our annually Christmas Light scavenger hunt. On Christmas Eve Tim played Ultimate Frisbee in the morning, then we went to see the movie 'Sing' together, Marco took them out for lunch and a brief stroll in the park, then the kids read the Christmas story and Tim and Marco played an Hawaiian Christmas song on the Ukulele at the Family service, we dropped of candied nuts at our friends house on the way home. At home we had a great Nordmann-Tanne in the living room replacing our third couch with wonderful lights and lots of gifts underneath. The kids were very excited. We sung some more songs, had Rostbratwuerstl and Kartoffelsalat and then started unwrapping presents. We use reusable paper giftsbags and little felt bags for the last couple of years. The only things I had to buy new where photos for our Holiday mail, baking ingredients, candy and chocolates and some gifts for relatives and the gifts I was asked to get for the kids from relatives. It was really nice to barely have any plastic waste. Just a couple of Amazon boxes. On the 25. we called all our family members and opened the gifts they sent. We skyped with Munich and Schongau, played and sung each other Christmas songs and shared what we did to celebrate. We made Schnitzel and Spaetzle and took a nap to help our weak bodies recover from the cold, while the kids watched some TV. Sarah wanted to take a bath in our new inflatable bathtub, but setting it up, a fitting at our bath sink broke and we had a minor leak which made us panic for a minute or two, til we shut off the main water. No celebration is perfect without a bit of drama. Once all was dry again we calmed our nerves with some more cookies. The 26. I went to my Deep Listening group which was a nice way to reflect and get to enjoy what just happened. It's lots of excitement and activities leading up to Christmas. And once it hits, it's over so quickly. And often I don't even get to enjoy it as deeply as anticipated. I went to the office for some clean up which felt nice just to be by myself for a little bit tending to the ordinary. At home the kids had lots of opportunity to catch up on play time with friends. We assumed they were deprived from it by hanging out with us. In the evening we went Ice Skating in Bellevue which was not as fun as hoped. Marco felt too sick and the ice was terrible. The skates hurt. We had some Asian food nearby and went home to play some games downstairs. Tomorrow work needs tending. And the Holiday blizz is almost over. We might keep it up a couple more days to save it over to the New Year. Still being grateful everything worked out so great. Thankful for family, time together, harmony and traditions. Lots of traditions. Pictures Sorry for skipping our yearly Holiday mail last year, but we were all around Germany for Christmas. That way we could celebrate Tim’s 10th birthday on the 30th of December in Munich and visit Paris and London. After that Marco went to Thailand for 3 weeks with a college buddy.
In Seattle school, work, moving, and remodeling our new home (5228 38th Ave, Seattle WA 98126) was waiting for Christine and the Kids. In spring, we celebrated Sarah’s 8th and a little later Marco’s followed by Christine’s 40th birthdays. Almost every weekend we invited friends over for Coffee and Cake on our new garden terrace. We spent the long (compared to Germany) summer break from June-Sept mostly outside in nature and in our ’83 VW Vanagon. We went to an art festival at Granite Falls, biked 200 miles (320km) to Portland, camped with friends and attended wilderness courses at Tolt River and went to summer camp at Big Lake, OR in August (Horse riding, Swimming, Sailing, Climbing, Surfing, and Hiking the PCT). In September Tim started his new soccer season and 5th grade at Fairmount Park Elementary. He has two very nice teachers and math is still is favorite subject (after recess). His soccer team made second place in their group and he’s looking forward to the start of the next season in spring. Tim just got back from a 4-day overnight trip to “Islandwood” (Bainbridge Island) where he spent time with 70 of his classmates and his dad as one of the chaperones: doing nature learning about teamwork and science experiments. Sarah attends 3rd grade in the same school and has a great teacher as well. She loves reading and writing and playing dolls with her friends. She also makes fabulous sugar cookies and goes to a circus/gymnastics class every week. Marco left Amazon after 12 years in Nov 2015 and is slowly recovering from the pressure that kept building up. He tried many new things over the last year, volunteering at the kids’ climate organization “Plant for the Planet”, the local Food Bank, his Amateur Radio Club, and our new Unitarian Universalists church. He loves singing in the choir there and enjoys being able to spend more time with the kids. Christine just started a new part-time job as a bookkeeper, still manages her coworking space and works on her internet startup “Stuffmapper”. She organizes many activities and is learning about nature connect, society and culture in her spare time. She loves to help with neighborhood projects. The election of Trump was quite a shock for all of us. We are very aware of how nice we had it during the last 8 years under Obama. Our engagement for the environment and social justice causes and our wish to bring up our children as responsible citizens of the world are being tested. We are thankful for all our friends and everyone who stays positive and works for bettering the world – we see this as our mission. Having sad that, “we really do just want world peace” and a lovely Holiday and Christmas time for all of you and we are looking forward to seeing you again soon! Letztes Jahr gab es leider keine Post von uns, da wir Weihnachten 2015 in Deutschland unterwegs waren. So konnten wir Tim’s 10. Geburtstag am 30. Dezember in Muenchen feiern und einen kurzen Abstecher nach Paris und London machen. Marco ist anschliessend mit einem alten Studienkollegen fuer 3 Wochen nach Thailand geflogen.
In Seattle wartete schon die Schule, Arbeit, Umzug und die letzten Renovierungsarbeiten am neuen Haus (5228 38th Ave, Seattle WA 98126) auf Tini und die Kinder. Im Fruehling feierten wir Sarah’s 8., dann Marco und Tini’s 40. Geburtstag und hatten fast jedes Wochenende Gaeste zu Kaffee und Kuchen im Garten. Die langen amerikanischen Sommerferien von Juni bis September haben wir viel draussen in der Natur und in unserem 1983 VW Bus verbracht. Erst waren wir auf ein Kunstfestival in Granite Falls, dann auf einer 200 Meilen (320 km) Radtour nach Portland, dann beim Zelten und Wilderness Training mit Freunden am Tolt River und Ende August dann am Big Lake in Oregon, wo wir Reiten, Baden, Segeln, Klettern, Surfen und auf dem Pacific Crest wandern waren. Im September startete Tim’s neue Fussball Saison und die 5. Klasse. Er hat 2 sehr nette Lehrerinnen und sein Lieblingsfach ist immer noch Mathe. Sein Fussball Team hat den 2. Platz in seiner Liga gewonnen und er freut sich schon auf Fruehling, wenn es wieder weitergeht. Er war auch gerade im Schullandheim ‘Islandwood’ mit Marco wo er mit seinen Klassenkameraden viel ueber Natur und Biologie gelernt hat. Sarah geht in die 3. Klasse und hat auch eine tolle Lehrerin. Sie liest und schreibt gerne und spielt am liebsten mit ihren Puppen und Freundinnen. Sie geht zum Turnen und backt gerne Kekse. Marco hatte im November 2015 nach 12 Jahren bei Amazon gekuendigt und erholt sich langsam vom Dauerstress. Er hat dieses Jahr viele neue Sachen ausprobiert und ehrenamtlich fuer unsere Kinder-Umweltorganisation ‘Plant for the Planet’, die lokale Food Bank, seinen Radio Club, unsere Unitarian* Gemeinschaft und ein paar andere Projekte gearbeitet. Er singt im Chor und die Kinder geniessen es das er viel Zeit fuer sie hat. Tini hat gerade einen neuen Teilzeit-Job als Buchhalter begonnen, fuehrt ihr Gemeinschaftsbuero und arbeitet an ihrem Internet Startup. Sie organisiert die zahlreichen Aktivitaeten und lernt in ihrer freien Zeit ueber Natur, Gesellschaft und Kultur und freut sich wenn sie sich fuer Nachbarschaftsprojekte einsetzen kann. Die Wahl von Donald Trump hat uns alle hier sehr schockiert. Wir sind uns sehr bewuesst darueber wie angenehm unser Leben in Seattle die letzten 12 Jahre dank Praesident Obama war. Unser Engagement in Umweltschutz, soziale Gerechtigkeit und unser Wunsch unsere Kinder als verantwortliche Weltbuerger zu erziehen wird durch Trump auf die Probe gestellt. Wir sind dankbar fuer unsere Freunde und jeden, der mit Optimismus und Einsatz die Welt verbessern will und geben unser Bestes unseren Beitrag zu leisten. In diesem Sinne wuenschen wir uns allen Weltfrieden und eine besinnliche Weihnachtszeit und hoffen Euch bald wiederzusehen. *Unitarians glauben an die Freiheit den eigenen spirituellen und religiösen Weg zu gehen, die angeborene Würde des Menschen, den Einsatz für Frieden, Freiheit und Gerechtigkeit, die gegenseitige Akzeptanz und die Unterstützung für spirituelles Wachstum sowie das Einstehen für eine freie und verantwortliche Suche nach Wahrheit und Sinn. About a year ago I joined an educator event at Camp Long that would include some elements of wilderness training. We did a couple of games and I loved it. Over the last couple weeks Marco and I volunteered by giving demonstrations at the West Seattle Bee Garden (which we built with our neighbors in 2013) for school field trips.
I really enjoy connecting kids with nature. I also developed a big passion for books about nature expeditions (bike rides across the US, pilger trails and the PCT). I read about others adventures and watch Survival shows for a while. I think it's the craving for simplicity that calls me. Coming across a guidance book for mentoring with a nature approach sounds perfect. Today my summer lecture arrived and I got to share one part, the Sit Spot, with Tim. I am looking forward to try out some activities and let more nature experiences take over my life. Sarah looks forward to celebrate her 8th birthday with her friends!
We will have snacks, cake and music. She appreciates if you don't get anything new for her. She already has plenty of toys and is a Climate Justice Ambassador. So no need for gifts, but she loves handmade cards and drawings. If you have something at home to give to her or found something used, she loves - Puppy books - Tree saplings and flowers for the garden - DVDs with animals and babies - experiences with friends (movies, museums, tree planting, picnic in the park,...) - water bottle - Fairy garden supplies - soft dresses with long sleeves (no polyester, no itchy stuff, please) - blue curtains for her room - girly shoes size 1.5-2.5 in good condition - American Girl Doll books - craft projects like necklace sets - Barbies and Barbie clothes - girly wall decals (colorful, flowery or blue) - McKenna loft bed set - Clothes & accessories for American Girl Doll/Our Generation dolls (18 inch) like mirror, purse, puppy,... - Candy and cookies (not used ;-)) Thanks for your consideration! Yeah! I just won the Safeway Monopoly! Yeah! This is how my life will be from now on! After 5 big shopping trips with 13 little green envelopes each, I did it. With the win I will - live in a great little house with my lovely husband and super sweet kids and great friends in one of the best neighborhoods - only work on thinks I can stand behind and like doing - take time to be healthy and walk more - play with our awesome fluffy pet - get involved in my community - plant trees - keep some bees - go on a date with my husband - drive around in a super awesome car - let my kids do super fun activities after school - have guest over for dinner and tea at least 3 times a week - create a green app that hopefully will change the way people consume - invite the nice cashier that I promised to take out if I win - feed the homeless outside Safeway where I got the winning ticket. What would you do with a win? My winning ticket!
For the last 3 years I more and more despised the consumerism I've gotten so used to and that I'm part of. I get angry with myself I let it get out of hand especially when I have to deal with all the things we acquired over the last years. All the stuff everywhere. I have to deal with it. Daily. And I deeply regret I got all that stuff. I regret all the time and energy the stuff required that I am no longer willing to give anymore. Living a busy hectic life as a family of four I realized it was time to rethink this in a bit way. It was time to let go. And foremost to change my consumer habits.
And I know I'm not alone. Articles like this are really inspiring to me: Ditch joyless items, but where do we send them to? As always, change isn't easy, but I wanted to be part of something bigger, something with more meaning. I didn't want to be just part of the machine. I worked in Marketing before but I didn't want to be a gear that suggests 'buy more', 'buy now' anymore. It's truly terrible what we do to us, the next generations and the planet. This all is based on greed. Figuring something out that someone might buy and then making more and selling more to make more money. It's all fake. This is just leading us to a few having too much in the end and many having not enough and a few in between having enough but thinking they wouldn't as they compare with the ones that have too much. So, for my personal contribution to less, more meaningful, more conscious and ethical, I decided to make my kids more aware of the 'wants' versus 'needs' we have and try to buy used whenever possible. Clothing, toys, kitchen items, furniture, art, books, media, electronic if needed will require a trip to the thrift- or consignment store first. It works pretty well. I really dislike if I have to buy new stuff, like gifts for my kid's friends birthday parties. I wish it would be acceptable to just gift second hand items by now. Once in a while I see myself falling into the old habit of roaming the aisles to look for the missing pieces, the pieces that will complete my household or the kids play set or the perfect gift, and then I have to remind myself, it's okay it's not complete. I want to celebrate the incompletion. I noticed if something is complete it's also not interesting anymore and falls of the radar pretty quickly, also does not give much satisfaction anymore. This whole construct is flawed and humans adapt too quickly to the sensation of a good buy. Money spent. 5 minute happiness. Need next fix to feel happy again. Need more money to get there. Vicious cycle. It was really freeing when we finally moved. We moved to a smaller space with almost no storage. We now had to change the way we were attached to things (for insecurity or to get that instant happiness fix) and to let many many items go. We donated most of it and have a couple nice items I will be happy to gift to my community over the next couple of months. Our kids joined a kids led organization 'Plant for the planet' 2 years ago that acts global with a goal to plant many many trees to counterbalance CO2. We already planted a couple and the kids did some presentations and a press conference. It makes me really proud to see them involved in this. My Coworking business is all about sharing and caring and besides that a big part of the furnishing is second hand. Our members share all the resources, which in the end leads to less consumerism. Yeah! We recycle, use green cleaning products and reusables, whenever possible. We also invite the community into our space and host multiple meetings (like the Sustainable West Seattle meetings) that have direct positive impact on our community. Many members bike or walk to the office, which is also great for the overall outcome of this project. My newest old venture is an online app to encourage neighbors to exchange free items. We started with this even before all the facebook free groups started but it took us a bit longer to create a platform that is customized for this process. We are almost there and hope we can soft launch this week and tweek it over the summer and then save lots of items from the landfill and further reduce consumerism. For summer we are just about to plan a trip to plant more trees. I really hope we can make this a great family adventure and learn even more how we all can do better in the future. Join us! We all can do so much better! Less stuff! More time! More adventures! You either have time or you have money. It's very rare you have both at the same time, if you are part of the rat race.
So, being out of a job makes you freak and want to find a new one, but it's also a great opportunity to travel without needing any vacation days. We skipped visiting family this summer and we knew our kids would need some more time with their Grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins. We flew to London, which was the cheapest way to get to Europe in December with a family of four. We stayed in the city and Sarah just loved riding the double decker buses. Christmas was beautiful in London. We explored the city. Had pizza. Rode the subway. Saw Buckingham Palace, had Fish and Chips, watched Ducks and slept well. After 24 hours we took the train to Paris and stayed in a modern hostel. The next morning we were in line to get up the Eiffeltower. We walked along the Seine and found a great little Christmas market where we spent some time. We left at night to get to our next stop, the grandparents in Stuttgart. The train ride was a bit complicated, but we made it. We enjoyed some nice days with them, celebrating Christmas with lots of yummy food and then moved on to my brothers. The boys played soccer in the backyard all day and we celebrated our second Christmas with my family. After some nice days there, we moved on to my sister in law to celebrate Tim's 10th birthday and New Years Eve. In the new year we visited some of my best friends for 2 more days. From there we flew back to London. Marco spent some time in the hotel before he went back to the airport to fly to Thailand while I met up with a old college friend at the Big Ben and returned to Seattle with the kids. After a long but fine flight we slept well and the kids were back in school the next day. It took a couple of days to overcome jetlag but we did way better than all the years before. So much going on. So little time to process all the new and crazy.
Lots has happened. And we did a lot over the last couple of months. We started school a little time this year (Teacher strike) after a long road trip going to Burning Man and Canada this summer. Unfortunately things didn't improve with husbands work situation and so we pulled the plug and ended the comfortable life line that supported us for the last 12 years. We still hoped it wouldn't have to happen but timing wasn't on our side. If life gives you lemon... so we where challenged to evaluate and act. We got way too comfortable over the years and less giddy and adventurous while getting our kids through toddlerhood and the first few years. Now we got a lot of sanity back (parenting wise) and other insanity added to our plate. We wanted to reclaim our lives, simplify, reshuffle and prepare for a newly created future. First, less stuff. More time. Sorted out a lot of kids stuff and random things over the last year but just couldn't do it all. We shopped a lot and I treated my anxiety dealing with motherhood with retail therapy. I overcame this and are a much more aware consumer now, but had to deal with the aftermath. Incredible how many $ go to stuff that is ending in the garage or a pile. Out of sight, out of life. The worst thing is how much energy all the stuff takes away from life. I was constantly cleaning up, putting stuff back, putting stuff away, looking for stuff. No fun. For a while I played with the idea of having us 4 move in a tiny house to be forced to refocus on our values, reconnect, unplug, sort out, get closer, simplify, getting the pressure of Marco providing for us. We started with a travel trailer to get a feel for that life. Our friends let us kindly park it on their lot on Vashon and we spent quite some time there over the summer. The space felt cramped and didn't work at all as soon as the weather turned bad. Scratch that idea. We would drive us crazy. I also watched a young couple that lived out of a van parking in a different neighborhood each night, feeling like criminals, hoping no one would call the cops on them. That just seemed very exhausting. Also not my idea of fun. We need a small space where we can open our doors and entertain. We want to have friends over and do BBQs, invite kids friends, play, spend time outside. By downsizing to a smaller place or apartment we also might be able to get some stress off Marco, giving him some options where and what to work on in the future. Over the last year he started rethinking and prioritizing what he would like to do rather than making rich people richer by helping shipping more brown boxes around the globe. We are pretty green, communal, conscious, democratic, more for everyone. And yes, we reached half time (mid life) and wanted to take time to think about this. Of course, travelling, meeting inspiring people and joining the outlaws at Burning Man also benefited to question the rat race. Luckily, we found a good house coming back from our trip. The house was still affordable enough for us to pay the down payment and have a bit extra for much needed renovations to a 1963 house. By renting out half of the house we would be able to life off way less as before. We started the process to buy while Marco planned his exit. We closed on the new smaller but larger house in Mid November, moved in the next weekend and immediately started our remodel. Four intense weeks followed with multiple trips to the Home Improvement Store, lots of hard labor, tiling, sanding, assembling, cutting, hanging, moving, cleaning, lifting, more cleaning. Early December we found new renters for our old place. Yeah! The move made it possible to sort out lots of outgrown items from all of us. It felt freeing to drop off a whole big moving truck full of stuff at Goodwill. We only unpacked the essentials for the first weeks. Life was easier but also complicated. Living out of boxes. The kids had some anxiety over the move. Sleep issues. Our relationship got closer as we worked together and just took the most important - our family. Mid December we left for the airport after sanding our floors all morning to visit our family and getting a small Euro trip in. This trip asks for a different blog post, so I won't go deep here. Just a couple days into the new year we came home and finished the most needed parts on the house while we lived in the lower apartment of our new house. Mid January I moved our stuff upstairs. The most fun we had with the giant mattress being stuck in the staircase. The kids helped me getting it up but it took us quite a while with power talk, meditation and all kinds of tricks. February came along and things around the house remodel slowed down, not done yet, but hard to push through, and we finally found some time to come up with a new rhythm for our new defined life. More time, less spending, less stress, more quality. Easiest done to give stuff away that is unneeded if a friend mentioned he needs it.
Tried to sort out my house worth of years and years of random stuff, some sentimental, some good ideas but never cared for, life got busy, some stuff I found new in boxes but the kids already lost interest. I got to combine stuff and then give it up. It was too overwhelming to sort it out all in one, so I started step by step with parts of one room last year. But there was still so much left and so little progress. I got tired. Once we decided on moving I cleaned out all the stuff put it in a box and then slowly took out the stuff we still needed on a daily basis. That way it was way easier and I didn't have to give up anything. I just got to keep all the things that where needed. For the move I just packed the things in the moving box that where on the shelves. Easy. And then again just unpacked the things we really used, which was then the third step in this long process. It feels great to not feel that stuffy. Stuffication is real! Just posted on facebook that I feel 'Content' today.
Not only did I get a couple of things accomplished today I also - worked hard on going paperless (spent about 5 evenings so far sorting paper), - downsizing (shedding, consolidating, prioritizing), - time over money (what is important and what do we really need), - reconnect with my husband, - clean our trailer for some hours, - spent a little time with each of my kids, - found a gift card with $60 on it - shared a couple of really good ideas with my coworkers, - made some sense out of the stuff and information, - said 'no' to overflow, - still looking for easy entertainment and something to relax myself, - enjoyed the small moments, - learning about myself, - feel empowered to not hide myself but bringing out the good, - overall making small but important changes in the right direction. Overall 'content' within the chaos. Today I took a ferry, spent 24 $, 3 hours of cleaning, many drops of sweat for a no show! I hate FLAKES. Why do you arrange a time to meet if you don't plan on showing up.
I will use all my energy to solve this frustration by rewarding everyone that shows from now on. I don't want to be passive aggressive. I want to end this experience on a positive note. My Mom sent a little package with books for the kids and the local newspaper from my hometown. I love reading those and staying up to date with what's going on when again nothing is going on. It's a small town with usually not much changing at all.
So, as I read that little pamphlet I come across a story about dying fish in the little stream running by our old house. I had a somewhat tragic childhood memory. When I was about 9 the police came to our house to interview me what I have witnessed playing in the stream that day regarding the dead fish all over the place. I was very timid and shy and answered truthfully, but without telling them that I also brought about 2 shovels worth of sand from my sandbox to the stream. I wondered til this day if I might have caused the killing of the fish. Murder. So, today, I read, 1500 fish were found dead in the stream again (but this time obviously not my fault being over 5000 miles away). The police came. Again. And investigations found that the leaves of the chestnut trees above the stream release a poison killing the fish. Mystery solved. It wasn't me. I am so happy! All these years I felt bad. Turns out it was the trees not my sand. Yeah! Long overdue but also a bit scary: today was Marco's last day at work. We are trading time for $ and comfort.
He worked so hard for the last 12 years in one of the most demanding and fast paced work environments imaginable. In the 12 years we also got really comfortable, constantly raising our life standard and being able to afford most of the things we needed. Like a perfect brag book we finally acquired a townhouse, 3 cars, a trailer and a boat. All was used and reasonable priced, but still. But all the stuff also meant to be even more part of the rat race. To keep up with all of the expenses he needed to keep up work and deliver. He dragged himself basically all year and it was really painful to watch. Out of my very happy, funny, caring partner became an easily irritated, stressed and hard to inspire grouch. I instantly knew I would trade everything we gathered at that point to have his old self back: The one that loved to try new things, be social, play with the kids, offering his help to anyone who would need it. The one starting a new hobby like trying taek wondo, going on a long bike ride with his son or letting others judge about his singing ability online. The playful adventurer. The funny German guy with the awesome shirts. I was secretly hoping he could stay put for a couple more months til I figured out how to make enough money to provide for the family and he wouldn't have to keep working for much longer unless he wanted to, but unfortunately I am just not there yet with all my business ventures I started over the last 3 years - after finally getting my US work permit in 2012. I told him to demand a 3 months leave of absence (which he did not get) or a 4 day week or some kind of relieve. But we were running out of time noticing his lack of energy, not able to do anything after work, his moodiness and declining health. We were lucky we had a long summer break showing us a glimpse of what happiness for us as a family and couple usually looks like. We had a good time traveling, exploring, not thinking or talking about work, unplugged in the nature, in good company and getting ready and experiencing the Burning Man festival. Life was about so much more and to be lived and not sacrificed for a greedy big corporation. He was still part of the system and indoctrinated by the companies mission, but our trip opened his eyes for some change, possible change. We needed to take the plunge. We needed to do it fast. And we did. So, today is the day. Today is the day we start restoring his old self. Or his new self but bringing out all the old awesomeness. Today we start getting a bit less comfortable, a bit more mindful over time vs. money, we'll let go of the unneeded to make room for more us and happiness. |
AuthorOptimistic, curious, human bee. CategoriesArchives
October 2023
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